I finally realized that I had been trying to live in a story that I had made up. In this story I am the main character, where everything is about me. In this story I let God be a character, but not the main character, and He's only in the story when I feel like He's needed. In doing so, my story sucks. It is lifeless. It is unsatisfying. It is empty. And worst of all it is not worth reading. Don't get me wrong it feels good being the main character, but that feeling only last for a brief time. When the feeling is gone emptiness and an feeling of being lost appears. What gets me is the fact that every time I decide to jump back into the Lord's story, He lets me. Its as if I hadn't done anything wrong, which I did. I spat in his face every second I was saying NO to His story and I was living it up in my own. No matter how many times I turned back to my story the Lord forgave me. And because of this grace, only found in Him, every time I come back to the Lord, He gives me a role in His story, weather its small or large. It is satisfying, full of joy, filled, and best of all its the best read out there.
You may ask, "If the story is so good and yours sucks, then why in the world would you not give up being the main character of a bad story that no one will read to being a character of a great story that everyone will read?" The sad thing is, I had to ask myself the same question. The answer i've come up with is the Devil!! Yes i know this is cliche, but it is true. Lying is the Devil's native tongue (John 8:44). He is the father of lies. Since lying is a sin and we all sin (Romans 3:23), it is because of the Devil that I have written my own story, and it is because of the Devil I keep going back to it to write more time and time again instead of being in the Lord's story. It is the Devil that fills my head with all the lies, telling me that my story is better than the Lord's since I can be a main character in mine.
I have realized, not perfected, that being in the Lord's story is a daily struggle. There are spiritual wars going on behind the scene every second. As well as the worldly struggles we go through each day that are visible. Needless to say, we all have the option to either submit and be in the Lord's story that will bring meaning and allow us to be prosperous eternally, or we can write our own that will be unsatisfying, and will make us miss the mark ( the mark being spending eternity with the Lord). This is why I have started this blog. To show others how the Lord is using me in His stories. I will also reveal the times I stumble and start to write my own. Hope you enjoy and I hope I can stand firm every second so that the Lord will be glorified with my character!
